


Pretty in Pink

by queensnarf



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Domestic, Earth C (Homestuck), Idiots in Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Not Canon Compliant - The Homestuck Epilogues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 08:00:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29996295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queensnarf/pseuds/queensnarf
Summary: Dave takes Karkat to see a sunrise.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The cancellation of HS^2 bummed me out a little so I wrote this to cheer myself up. Please enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up.

DAVE: psst  
DAVE: yo  
DAVE: karkat  
DAVE: karkat  
DAVE: karkat vantas  
DAVE: karkarino  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: karkringle  
DAVE: hey special k  
DAVE: come on  
DAVE: wake up bro  
KARKAT: MRRNFF...  
DAVE: gasp  
DAVE: he lives  
DAVE: rise and shine princess  
DAVE: welcome to the land of the living  
KARKAT: STRIDER, DID YOU JUST SAY "GASP" AT ME OUT LOUD? WHAT TIME IS IT?  
DAVE: itll be 5:43 am in about 26 seconds  
KARKAT: WRONG. IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR ME TO PUT UP WITH BULLSHIT LIKE YOU LITERALLY SAYING "GASP" AT ME. GO CHECK THE TIME THE HANDLE IS CLEARLY RESTING ON “KARKAT SHOULD NOT BE AWAKE” O’CLOCK.  
KARKAT: TRY AGAIN LATER.  
DAVE: what no come on man you promised  
DAVE: you cant dishonor the bro code like that its sacred  
KARKAT: NNRRGH.  
KARKAT: FUCK. ALRIGHT, FINE.  
KARKAT: YOU'RE RIGHT. A PROMISE IS A PROMISE.  
KARKAT: BUT I REFUSE TO ENJOY WHATEVER THIS IS OUT OF SHEER SPITE OF WAKING ME UP AT THIS HOUR. WHEREVER WE END UP GOING, I INTEND TO COMPLAIN THE ENTIRE WAY THERE.  
DAVE: dude you are so cranky in the mornings its adorable  
DAVE: you get this piss and vinegar look on your face every time you wake up too like its a crime or something  
DAVE: like this inescapable thousand yard stare of sheer disappointment that strongarms its way into the inner workings of the soul putting even the sourest of morning glares to shame  
DAVE: the resting bitch face 2 electric boogaloo  
DAVE: also known as his honorable grouchinesss patented morning glare™  
KARKAT: I HATE IT. I HATE THAT YOU GAVE IT A NAME.  
DAVE: anyway i know how much it sucks being alive this early in the morning  
DAVE: especially considering you and i already have the most garbage sleep schedules on the planet  
DAVE: but this brief intermission in our rightful snoozing will be worth it  
DAVE: even if it is a secret though you just gotta trust me until we get there  
KARKAT: OH GOOD, THAT'S VERY REASSURING.  
KARKAT: HOW'D YOU KNOW GETTING WOKEN UP AT CETUS'S ASS CRACK OF DAWN TO GO TO SOME DUBIOUS SECONDARY LOCATION IS MY FAVORITE WAY TO SPEND MY MORNING?  
KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY NOT DO THIS EVERY GODDAMN MORNING SINCE IT'S SUCH A VIRTUOUS AND INGENIUS IDEA AND NOT AT ALL THE WORST FUCKING THING YOU'VE EVER MADE ME DO.  
DAVE: oh ive made you do plenty worse  
DAVE: remember game night  
KARKAT: NO, BECAUSE I TOLD YOU WE ARE NEVER TALKING ABOUT THAT EVER AGAIN AND I WILL NOT STOP ACTING AS IF IT NEVER HAPPENED NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU TRY TO BRING IT UP.  
DAVE: word  
DAVE: but just so were clear  
DAVE: you looked cute as hell  
DAVE: all dressed up ready for-mffhngh  
KARKAT: I'LL REMOVE MY FRONDS FROM YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU'RE READY TO NOT CONTINUE THAT SENTENCE.  
KARKAT: !!!!!!  
KARKAT: DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER, DID YOU JUST ***LICK*** MY HAND?!  
DAVE: play stupid games win stupid prizes  
DAVE: also its just dave thank you  
DAVE: you know that  
KARKAT: HUMBLING ISN'T IT? YOUR SNIDE REMARKS HAVE LANDED YOU HERE, DAVID.  
DAVE: what no  
DAVE: that doesnt even work my first names not even david  
KARKAT: SURE, BUT IT BOTHERS THE HELL OUT OF YOU. THAT'S WHY I INTEND TO CONTINUE CALLING YOU DAVID FOR AS LONG AS NECESSARY SOLELY BECAUSE I DERIVE PLEASURE FROM IT LIKE A FUCKING SADIST.  
KARKAT: I HAVE A QUOTA TO FILL. THEM'S THE BREAKS, DAVID. PARADOX SPACE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.  
DAVE: gog damn  
DAVE: doin me dirty in the safety of our own home  
KARKAT: OH, AND FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, YOU DO NOT NEED TO FELLATE MY HAND TO GET ME TO MOVE IT, THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING. IN FACT, NEVER DO THAT AGAIN EVER.  
DAVE: ill consider it if you promise to stop calling me david  
DAVE: the bit stinks like smelly garbage bro im practically doing you a favor here  
DAVE: you gotta put it down before something drastic happens ill start licking your hand twice as much if you keep this up  
DAVE: shits becoming twofold  
DAVE: i will become an olympic hand licker and train every day for the rest of my immortal life and youll never see or hear from me again because ill be too busy licking hands for my career  
DAVE: see what youve done karkat youre depriving me of seeing you ill be too absorbed in my fame and fortune as a world champion hand licker to realize what truly matters to me in life this is the worst outcome  
DAVE: theres hope for us yet though all you gotta do is admit to yourself that david was never my name to begin with and never will be in the same way this joke was never funny and only a fool would be penis brain enough to say otherwise  
KARKAT: HAHAHA! YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU!  
KARKAT: IF THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA PLAY THIS GAME THEN FINE, I CAN PUT UP WITH A LITTLE MAN SLOBBER.  
KARKAT: BETTER FLEX YOUR FUCKING LICKING SKILLS, CAUSE I...MNN....  
DAVE: <3  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: shitstain  
DAVE: i love you  
KARKAT: I LOVE YOU TOO, IDIOT.  
KARKAT: NOW ARE WE GOING TO YOUR SURPRISE HOMICIDE PARTY OR NOT?  
DAVE: oh sure now youre in such a huge rush to leave  
DAVE: here i thought you didnt want to come with me what with that huge fuss you were making literally seconds ago  
KARKAT: YOU ALREADY WOKE ME UP SO I MIGHT AS WELL.  
DAVE: you sure its not just cause im bribing you with kisses  
DAVE: hoping to get some more of that sweet tasty man slobber from your fresh boy d stri  
KARKAT: OKAY, REMARKABLY, THAT TOO, BUT PREFERABLY NOT ALL OVER MY FRONDS THIS TIME.  
KARKAT: ALSO, YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO YOURSELF AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH I FIND IT ENDEARING. IT'S INFURIATING. EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH SHOULD ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND YET I'M OVER HERE SWOONING LIKE SOME IDIOTIC FLIGHTY BROAD IN A SCHOOLHIVE PINING OVER A HIGHBLOOD.  
DAVE: hey whatever gets you off karkat you know i dont judge  
KARKAT: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KISS ME AGAIN ALREADY.  
DAVE: haha you dont have to ask me twice  
DAVE: but we...mnn...  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: we really should...  
KARKAT: <3 <3 <3  
DAVE: hah...head out soon....  
DAVE: i...fuck im never gonna get tired of this  
KARKAT: I SURE HOPE NOT. YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH STUCK WITH ME CONSIDERING WE LIVE TOGETHER AND SHARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN THIS GODFORSAKEN HIVE INCLUDING OUR UNDERGARMENTS.  
DAVE: damn right were tighter than a hooker in a texan whore house on a hot and steamy sunday afternoon  
DAVE: im the hooker in this metaphor in case that wasnt clear  
KARKAT: I...WHY MUST YOU BE SO FUCKING GROSS ALL THE TIME?? ALSO THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.  
DAVE: i dont know im always so blissed out when youre macking on me like this i lose all coherency  
DAVE: youre so damn perfect i cant control it  
KARKAT: HAH, GOD. I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU. IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS.  
DAVE: huge if true  
DAVE: also impressive considering i woke you up at such an ungodly hour  
DAVE: even if it is to show you something cool and to potentially smooch you to death  
DAVE: actually now that i think about it if the sloppy makeouts continue at this rate well miss the surprise  
DAVE: so i guess we should mosey on out of here then  
DAVE: come here ill carry you  
KARKAT: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.  
DAVE: im gonna carry you  
KARKAT: STRIDER.  
DAVE: vantas  
DAVE: you can call me by my last name all you want but you cant escape my rank and cold sweaty clutches wrapped up in blankets like that  
KARKAT: YOU CONTEMPTIBLE PIECE OF SHIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  
KARKAT: STOP IT! GET OFF ME!  
KARKAT: NO! NO!! ALRIGHT, FINE! I'M GOING! FUCKING BULGEMUNCH!!  
KARKAT: FUCK YOU FOR RIPPING OFF THE BLANKETS WHEN IT IS COLDER THAN THE FROZEN DEPTHS OF A CORRUPT POLITICIAN'S REPTILIAN HEART OUTSIDE!  
DAVE: yknow sometimes i forget about your sensitivity to literally everything that isnt dark and warm  
DAVE: and slightly damp  
DAVE: or like  
DAVE: humid  
KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, EW.  
KARKAT: SECOND OF ALL, SNOW WASN'T A THING ON ALTERNIA. BLOW ME.  
DAVE: maybe later  
KARKAT: Y'KNOW, THAT WAS ALSO NOT A THING ON ALTERNIA, BUT I WOULDN'T BE OPPOSED TO IT.  
DAVE: hahaha oh my god karkat youre killing me man  
DAVE: you know how much i love shamelessly flirting and shootin the shit with you like were on a first date at a shooting range and everyone ran out of targets so steaming piles of shit is our only alternative  
DAVE: but we really are running out of time and im not exactly keen on breaking out my timetables for this  
DAVE: vamoose ya little varmint  
DAVE: just wear my old god tier pjs theyre warm as hell  
KARKAT: OKAY, JESUS, I'M GOING. HAVE FUCKING PATIENCE.  
KARKAT: OR AT LEAST SOME DECENCY TO TURN AROUND WHILE I CHANGE?  
DAVE: oh uh  
DAVE: right sorry  
DAVE: didnt mean to stare or anything  
KARKAT: YOU'RE FINE.  
KARKAT: WE'RE REALLY GOOD AT GETTING SIDETRACKED, AREN'T WE?  
DAVE: best on earth c  
KARKAT: WHERE ARE YOU EVEN TAKING ME ANYWAY?  
DAVE: do i really have to explain the dictionary definition of surprise to you  
DAVE: should i look it up on skaianet would that help  
KARKAT: EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING HALF OF MY FUCKING LIFE IN FEAR OF A SPONTANEOUS DRONE CULLING.  
KARKAT: SURPRISES AREN'T EXACTLY MY IDEA OF FUN.  
DAVE: man alternia sucked  
DAVE: not that i can really speak for you or your experience personally  
DAVE: but thats fucked up  
KARKAT: I THINK WE MADE THAT PRETTY FUCKING CLEAR THE FIRST TIME.  
DAVE: at least let me assure you this surprise has nothing to do with murder  
DAVE: or death for that matter  
DAVE: despite how much you keep implying otherwise  
KARKAT: I KNOW THAT, I WAS JOKING.  
KARKAT: THE HEIGHT OF ANY TERRIFYING, PAN-WARPING, AND TRAUMATIC HORSESHIT BEING CRAMMED DOWN OUR PROTEIN CHUTES THESE DAYS IS HAVING TO SEE JAKE ENGLISH'S VOLUPTUOUSLY FRUITY ASSCHEEKS ON TV EVERY FUCKING PERIGEE.  
KARKAT: I'D BE MORE SURPRISED IF IT *DID* HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH DEATH OR MURDER, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING, CONSIDERING YOU AND I DEALT WITH DEATH AND DECEASED LOVED ONES PRETTY FUCKING REGULARLY BACK WHEN SGRUB/SBURB WAS STILL A THING.  
KARKAT: BESIDES, EVEN IF I HATE SURPRISES, I TRUST YOU.  
KARKAT: SO I KNOW I'LL ENJOY THIS AT LEAST TO SOME EXTENT.  
DAVE: aight sweet  
KARKAT: OKAY, I'M GOOD.  
KARKAT: DAMN, THESE *ARE* REALLY COMFORTABLE. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR GOD TIER CLOTHES, DIPSHIT, THEY'RE MINE NOW.  
DAVE: holy fuck dude you look amazing  
KARKAT: WHAT? REALLY??  
DAVE: yeah man im practically swooning here  
DAVE: like shit i didnt think you could get any cuter  
DAVE: but then boom  
DAVE: here you are proving me wrong  
DAVE: 0 strider 1 vantas  
KARKAT: DAVE, ARE WE GOING OR NOT?  
DAVE: oh right  
DAVE: yeah  
KARKAT: VAMOOSE AND ALL THAT.  
KARKAT: FUCK, I KINDA WANNA WATCH STAR TREK NOW.  
DAVE: haha i got it in your head didnt i  
DAVE: 1 strider 1 vantas  
DAVE: there now were even weve climbed this mountain together congratulations  
KARKAT: YOU WANNA WATCH IT WITH ME AFTER THIS SURPRISE THING?  
DAVE: dude always i love star trek  
KARKAT: OH, RIGHT.  
KARKAT: THANKS.  
KARKAT: <3  
DAVE: <3  
DAVE: oh shit  
DAVE: wait  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
DAVE: krabby  
DAVE: fuck yeah that works so well how did i miss that  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  
DAVE: another word to describe your morning face it totally fits  
DAVE: spongebob comin in clutch  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting there.

KARKAT: DAVE, WE HAVE BEEN WALKING UPHILL THROUGH THE SNOW FOR 25 FUCKING MINUTES NOW.  
DAVE: both ways 7 miles  
KARKAT: ACTUALLY, *I'VE* BEEN WALKING FOR 25 MINUTES NOW, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING AND FLOATING ABOVE THE GROUND LIKE A LAZY SACK OF SHIT. ARE WE–AND I CANNOT FUCKING STRESS THIS ENOUGH–THERE YET?  
DAVE: 24 minutes to be precise  
DAVE: also i offered to carry you  
DAVE: dont complain about having to walk if you were given an alternative  
KARKAT: SHUT UP, IF I'M GONNA FLY, IT'S GONNA BE BY MY OWN VOLITION.  
DAVE: alright then  
DAVE: show me how its done icarus  
KARKAT: ......  
KARKAT: MAYBE I DON'T EVEN WANT TO FLY? EVER CONSIDER THAT?  
DAVE: sounds like sour grapes to me  
DAVE: its okay though icarus was a feathery asshole anyway  
KARKAT: WHATEVER.  
KARKAT: YOU SAY THAT LIKES IT'S EVEN FUCKING POSSIBLE FOR ME.  
KARKAT: IT'S EMBARRASSING ENOUGH THAT I'M WEARING WHAT IS TECHNICALLY THE SAME CLASS UNIFORM AS MY OWN AND I'M NOT EVEN GOD TIERED.  
DAVE: aww dont pout  
DAVE: well find a way to get you up  
KARKAT: WOW. DO I EVEN HAVE TO COMMENT ON THAT ONE?  
DAVE: lol no it stands on its own  
KARKAT: DAVE!  
DAVE: ha gotem  
DAVE: it was funny wasnt it  
KARKAT: NO.  
DAVE: yes it was im hilarious  
DAVE: also chill its literally at the top of this hill  
KARKAT: REALLY? I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKALL ON A HIKING TRAIL. I'M SO RELIEVED NOW. THANK HUMAN JESUS.  
DAVE: someday you will have to answer for the amount of sass you are giving me  
DAVE: when that day comes the gods of this world may not be so merciful  
DAVE: the gods of this world being me  
DAVE: cause i can personally guarantee every one of our friends has better things to do with their time than to partake in petty retribution over some playfully stupid and lighthearted squabble  
DAVE: its up to me to exact righteousness on your bitchy attitude  
DAVE: im taking this to the courts  
DAVE: better call terezi before i pass judgement on your stank ass  
KARKAT: KNOWING YOU, THAT DOESN'T SOUND EVEN REMOTELY THREATENING. DON'T YOU LIKE, GET OFF ON DEMOCRACY? YOU'D MUCH SOONER HOLD A FAIR TRIAL THAN EFFECTUATE TYRANNY ON THE LEGAL SYSTEM TO ANY DEGREE.  
DAVE: yeah itll be great there will be a jury and everything  
KARKAT: I CAN ALREADY FEEL THE DUE PROCESS. OBAMA WOULD BE PROUD, DAVE.  
DAVE: im honored thank you mr obama  
DAVE: were here btw  
KARKAT: "HERE" BEING, ON TOP OF A HILL. OKAY. NOW WHAT?  
KARKAT: TELL ME WE DIDN'T GO ON THIS EXPEDITION TO LOOK AT A BUNCH OF CITIES I LITERALLY COULD NOT CARE LESS ABOUT.  
DAVE: you care about can town dont you  
KARKAT: OKAY, YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT. CAN TOWN IS PRETTY SWEET.  
KARKAT: BUT THAT'S NOT MY POINT. IF WE'RE ACTUALLY HERE TO SEE CAN TOWN, WHY NOT JUST *GO* TO CAN TOWN?  
KARKAT: CLIMBING UP A FUCKING HILL IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER SEEMS A BIT COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.  
DAVE: thats cause were not here for can town  
KARKAT: OKAY THEN, CHUCKLEFUCK, WHAT'S THE POINT OF ALL THIS?  
DAVE: just give it a sec  
KARKAT: KIND OF HARD FOR ME TO DO THAT WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT "IT" IS?  
KARKAT: ......  
KARKAT: OH.  
KARKAT: OKAY.  
KARKAT: THE SKY IS PINK.  
DAVE: sure is bro  
KARKAT: NOT TO RUIN THIS MOMENT YOU'VE APPARENTLY PLANNED OUT FOR US DOWN TO THE MINUTE, BUT WOULD YOU CARE TO ELABORATE AS TO WHY IT'S DOING THAT?  
DAVE: it occurred to me while we were talking a couple days ago that youve probably never seen a proper sunrise  
DAVE: not that ive ever seen a proper one either  
DAVE: like what the fuck even are the rules or guidelines for a proper sunrise im just assuming theyre the same guidelines for a proper sunset but  
KARKAT: DAVE.  
DAVE: right  
DAVE: back when i lived with bro there were some nights i couldnt even sleep without panicking over getting jumped by plush puppet ass rain or one of his so called ninja sneak moves  
DAVE: so i just  
DAVE: wouldnt sleep  
DAVE: i would stay up all goddamn night huddled in a corner armed and ready to fend off another round of domestic abuse  
DAVE: and when dawn came i would watch the sunrise from my window  
DAVE: pretty shitty view to be perfectly honest  
DAVE: but i remembered how much i liked it  
DAVE: and idk  
DAVE: i thought you might like it too  
DAVE: i guess  
DAVE: since alternia wouldnt have allowed you the time of day to see it yourself  
DAVE: shit your sun probably wouldve vaporized you if you even so much as considered glancing at it  
KARKAT: I'M GOING TO ASSUME YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE DOMESTIC ABUSE PART CONSIDERING WE'VE JAMMED ABOUT THAT IN PAST, BUT JUST IN CASE I'LL KEEP THAT CONVERSATION TABBED FOR LATER IF YOU WANNA COME BACK TO IT.  
DAVE: i appreciate that  
DAVE: im over it enough that i dont have to jump ass forward into my usual deflection at least  
DAVE: talking with dirks been helping  
KARKAT: I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT.  
KARKAT: ANYWAY, YOU'RE NOT THAT FAR OFF.  
KARKAT: AND EVEN IF THE GIANT DEATH BALL THAT WAS ALTERNIA'S SUN DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY BLIND SOMEONE DUMB ENOUGH TO DELIBERATELY LOOK AT IT, IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD'VE GONE OUTSIDE AND THROWN A FUCKING SKY WATCHING PARTY ON MY LAWN RING WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT BY CULLING DRONES.  
DAVE: yes my point exactly  
DAVE: shit isnt a problem anymore  
DAVE: your party can finally take place  
DAVE: where making it hapen bro  
KARKAT: HUH.  
KARKAT: IT'S PRETTY WHEN IT'S NOT TRYING TO SEAR YOUR GANDER BULBS OFF.  
KARKAT: I SEE NOW WHY YOU WERE IN SUCH A HURRY TO GET US HERE.  
KARKAT: IT ACTUALLY ALMOST MAKES UP FOR THE FREEZING FUCKING WEATHER.  
DAVE: good haha  
DAVE: cause uh  
DAVE: theres actually a second part to all of this  
KARKAT: WHAT, IS THE SUN GOING TO EXPLODE INTO A BLACK HOLE WHILE YOU FREESTYLE ABOUT THE ECONOMY?  
DAVE: that sounds amazing and im filing that away in the event our sun actually does implode into a black hole  
DAVE: but no its actually  
DAVE: well  
DAVE: ......  
KARKAT: OH SHIT, THIS IS SERIOUS IF YOUR SHADES ARE COMING OFF. IS EVERYTHING OKAY? YOU'RE NOT DYING ARE YOU?  
DAVE: pfft that would be such a shitty surprise lmfao  
DAVE: oh pretty sunrise btw im dying heroically of some fucked up disease  
DAVE: nah im alright just enjoy the strider eye moment  
KARKAT: DAVE?  
DAVE: shit this is harder than i thought  
DAVE: so uh  
DAVE: remember how i said i love shootin the shit with you  
DAVE: that wasnt a lie or anything i mean i genuinely cannot get enough of your company  
DAVE: like shit karkat youre just  
DAVE: youre so incredible and so much fun to be around and i know you think youre too much or not enough for people or even feel like that with me sometimes but thats just not true  
DAVE: i love the time i spend with you no matter how brainlessly stupid the activity or how shitty your taste in movies are and if that means snuggling up to watch good luck chuck or serendipity or hitch or some other overblown cheesy romcom for another 10 billion to the nth power of times then ill happily join in as long youre there beside me  
DAVE: presumably to go on more long winded rants about how my opinions about them are valid but objectively shit until im slumped on the floor in tears from laughter  
DAVE: fuck thats another thing  
DAVE: youre quickwitted and hilarious i mean we have some pretty entertaining friends but nobody can make me laugh in that unprecedented sort of way like you do  
DAVE: and look i know i joke about having all the time in the world but even i dont think i could list off everything youve done thats made me laugh or smile so hard im beaming  
DAVE: fuck the suns already up and im not even close to being done describing how much you mean to me like  
DAVE: theres just so much more to you than you give yourself credit for  
DAVE: no joke you have more humility for others than any other person ive ever met full stop  
DAVE: you care so much about the people around you even though you act like you dont and im not even speaking from personal bias here i mean anybody thats known you for as long as i have can see it  
DAVE: getting to know you is the best part because its so easy to see how much you care about the people in your life  
DAVE: despite how much of a gigantic tool you are too lmao  
DAVE: god the amount of love i have for you is bursting at the seams at this point theres no use in me trying to hide it  
DAVE: not that id want to but  
DAVE: well  
DAVE: for a while it scared me to be able to let someone in like that  
DAVE: im gonna go ahead and chock that one up to the relentless amounts of trauma i got stewing all up in my noggin just all getting marinated and shit  
DAVE: i guess im really good at deflecting and putting up walls and im willing to admit that im still not the best at trusting others  
DAVE: or shit i was never even good at deflecting either lets be real its so obvious when a topic makes me uncomfortable and i run from it regardless of how much effort ive put into not doing that  
DAVE: but after living with you and knowing you for so long i realized that there was never anything to worry about in the first place  
DAVE: like i can look at you as you are and trust that youll be by my side in the same way that i know i will be too  
DAVE: i dont ever have to wonder if im making a mistake by opening up to you  
DAVE: because well  
DAVE: its you i mean  
DAVE: fuck im not really making much sense rn lemme backtrack  
DAVE: i guess this is all just a really roundabout way of saying i love you karkat  
DAVE: and even with all the shitty digressive rambling from me and my ability to spew verbal diarrhea on a regular basis it still doesnt come close to being enough words to convey just how in love with you i really am  
DAVE: cause its so much and i do  
DAVE: i love you so fucking much dude  
KARKAT: I LOVE YOU TOO, DAVE...  
DAVE: and  
DAVE: after years of knowing you i dont think i can let you go  
DAVE: not that i ever would but like  
DAVE: i want you by my side for the rest of my life  
DAVE: hell ive probably wanted this as far back as the meteor  
DAVE: even if it is selfish as fuck  
KARKAT: !!!!!!  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, IS THIS-!  
DAVE: which is why  
DAVE: karkat vantas  
DAVE: will you  
KARKAT: YES. GOD YES. JESUS CHRIST, DAVE. HOLY SHIT. FUCK.  
DAVE: hahaha man come on at least let me finish  
DAVE: i mean its pretty fucking obvious that im not gonna pull some hold this while i tie my shoe bullshit but  
DAVE: youre practically vibrating  
DAVE: holy shit are you crying  
KARKAT: YES, I'M CRYING DAVE. I'M CRYING AT YOUR STUPID HUMAN PROPOSAL CUSTOM AND YOU CANNOT STOP ME.  
KARKAT: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD JUST PULL THIS ON ME OUT OF THE BLUE AND THEN EXPECT ME NOT TO CRY LITERAL TEARS OF JOY?  
KARKAT: THINK AGAIN, ASSHOLE!  
DAVE: haha youre gonna make me cry too  
KARKAT: YOU SAY THAT LIKE YOU AREN'T CRYING ALREADY!  
DAVE: i cant help it  
DAVE: this is so stupid i havent even said anything yet and the floodgates are already open sound the alarm here comes niagra falls  
KARKAT: WELL, GET ON WITH IT THEN!  
DAVE: lol youre right ive left you hanging long enough  
KARKAT: PLEASE, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I CAN HANDLE THE ANTICIPATION!  
DAVE: wait hold on  
DAVE: jesus this ground is covered in snow slush at this rate im gonna be the asshole with a muddy knee for no reason whos idea was it to do this in winter  
DAVE: maybe i need to spend another two minutes rapping about this i mean this is just downright excessive  
KARKAT: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
DAVE: hahaha im just teasing  
DAVE: karkat vantas  
DAVE: will you marry me  
KARKAT: YES!  
DAVE: yeah dude really  
KARKAT: YES, DAVE!!  
DAVE: you wanna come down here so i can kiss you then  
KARKAT: HELL YES!!  
DAVE: <3 <3 <3  
KARKAT: <3 <3 <3  
DAVE: wanna get out of the cold now and go home and watch star trek and possibly fuck each other senseless sometime inbetween  
KARKAT: HELL FUCKING YES!!  
DAVE: god i love you karkat  
KARKAT: I LOVE YOU TOO, DAVE.  
DAVE: my best friend  
DAVE: my matesprit  
DAVE: my fiance  
DAVE: ah shit i cant believe it  
DAVE: fiance dude  
DAVE: youre my fiance  
DAVE: fuck  
DAVE: thats  
DAVE: thats like  
DAVE: i gotta get an apron  
DAVE: yknow like a pink one with the frills and shit so i can be your handsome husband waiting for you to come home after a long day of work well be domestic as hell  
KARKAT: DAVE, WE NEVER FUCKING LEAVE THE HIVE AND WE'RE *ALREADY* DOMESTIC AS ALL HELL SO I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM, BUT I'M SURE YOU WOULD LOOK GREAT IN AN APRON.  
DAVE: hell yeah i would  
KARKAT: ...AS MY FUTURE HUSBAND, TOO. WOW! HOLY SHIT, THAT FEELS REALLY GREAT TO SAY.  
DAVE: oh wait karkat come here come put this on  
DAVE: cant believe i almost forgot it was a whole ordeal trying to get your ring size  
DAVE: if this were a movie it wouldve been the montage part where i use increasingly ridiculous methods to figure out the diameter of your little troll finger in a bunch of goofy scenarios that are both embarrassingly uncool yet charming for my character  
DAVE: and in the end my determination would reward me with a happy marriage  
DAVE: ben stiller and owen wilson would be cast for our parts naturally thats the only logical course of action here  
KARKAT: WOW, CASTING A HUMAN TO PLAY A TROLL? XENOPHOBIC MUCH? CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE, DAVE.  
DAVE: lol okay i know youre fucking with me but obviously im referring to troll ben stiller karkat im not a meathead  
KARKAT: WAIT, I THOUGHT OWEN WILSON WAS CAST TO PLAY ME, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. DON'T YOU LOVE BEN STILLER?  
DAVE: uh duh dude  
DAVE: thats why im casting him to play as you  
KARKAT: O:B <3  
DAVE: B;) <3  
DAVE: anyway in reality i just measured your finger in your sleep  
DAVE: but man you are such a light sleeper i almost made a stable time loop to make the process easier you somehow woke up every time i so much as moved a millimeter  
KARKAT: I DON'T KNOW, DAVE, MAYBE YOU'RE NOT AS SNEAKY AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. I'VE SEEN YOU IN THE MORNINGS, YOU MOVE WITH ALL THE GRACE OF A VACUUM CLEANER FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS.  
DAVE: damn you warned me  
DAVE: also i can practically hear that thats such a good visual thank you  
KARKAT: HAHAHA!  
DAVE: there hows that  
KARKAT: IT'S PERFECT, DAVE. THE WHOLE PROPOSAL WAS PERFECT. I'VE SEEN AND READ A LOT OF HUMAN ROMANCE MOVIES AND NOVELS WITH THE CONCEPT OF PROPOSALS AND MARRIAGE AND NONE OF THEM COULD'VE PREPARED ME FOR WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW...THIS...FULFILLMENT? GRANTED, THIS WAS NOTHING LIKE WHATEVER I IMAGINED IN MY THINKPAN, BUT NOW I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THAT WAS AND I DON'T CARE TO.  
DAVE: okay im really flattered and glad you think so but i meant more how does it fit  
KARKAT: OH. YEAH, IT FITS FINE.  
DAVE: alright cool  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: and yknow if it needs adjusting we can go get it tinkered with i was close but i know i wasnt fully on the mark precisionways  
KARKAT: NO!!  
KARKAT: I MEAN...I DON'T WANT TO TAKE IT OFF, IS ALL.  
DAVE: and he admits it  
DAVE: everybody watch out karkat vantas will steal everything you give him and never return it  
DAVE: first my god tier jammies and now my heart and nuptials  
DAVE: and there he goes the big man hass the wedding  
KARKAT: DAVE.  
KARKAT: DON'T YOU MEAN KARKAT STRIDER-VANTAS?  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: OH  
DAVE: is this your way of saying you wanna hyphenate  
DAVE: B:O  
KARKAT: (:B  
DAVE: wait why is my name first dont you wanna go top bunk and be vantas strider  
DAVE: or actually wait that doesnt flow as well nevermind  
DAVE: dave elizabeth strider vantas  
KARKAT: DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER-VANTAS.  
DAVE: yeah thats got a EXCUSE ME WHAT WAS THAT  
KARKAT: NOTHING AT ALL. YOU'RE HEARING THINGS. GO GET THAT CHECKED.  
KARKAT: (......SNRK.)  
DAVE: mark my fucking words im gonna get your ass as soon as were home mr strider vantas  
KARKAT: I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, MY DEAR, SWEET, FUTURE HUSBAND!!  
DAVE: <3  
KARKAT: <3  
KARKAT: OH GOD, DAVE, I...  
KARKAT: I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE SUNRISE.  
DAVE: oh shit  
DAVE: hahaha its okay so did i  
KARKAT: HAHAHA!!  



End file.
